Nothing changes, if nothing changes….
For a few days I’ve felt the urge to write, words have been forming on the tip of my tongue, just wanting to come out, after weeks of not writing.
I feel the energy of change, it seems to be everywhere.
For the last few months, I’ve felt stuck, and I admit to hating it. I am a life coach… I ‘should’ know better. Yet I’ve felt stuck in a lack head space, stuck in a financial mess, stuck in recurring health issues, stuck in the monotony of the day to day, stuck wanting to return to the higher space I used to live.
I have a knowing that there is a better way to be, and I know that the key to it, lies within. Nothing external ever brings happiness, only temporary reprieve.
I have been pretty quiet on my blog, my platforms, and in life in general. I haven’t been hustling, writing, or marketing of late. I took a break from all of it, and have just been quietly working with a few coaching clients, maintaining my design business, being present for my relationships and taking it day by day.
Burn out comes all to often in my world and it is something that I need to change. It is either one extreme or the other – work like crazy, then hit the wall… exhaustion, illness, flatness, depression.
But I feel the magic of change approaching. Call it the new moon, my recent birthday, seeing Tony Robbins, astrological planetary alignments… whatever it is, I sense new and positive change on the way.
I am also choosing it to be so.
Through my daily practices, I have been inviting change in… being open to it, asking for it. I’ve been ‘choosing’ to see the world differently, choosing to have a good day, choosing to feel excited and alive again, choosing to find magic, choosing to deepen my relationships, choosing to be unstuck – and it has been working.
There has been a lot of change over the last year in my life. My son developing into a young man, my parents moving away, finding my dream relationship, my businesses changing form, returning to corporate…. And I have found myself asking, what can I learn from all of this change.
Spiritual teachers maintain that relationship is our biggest source of growth, that we should expect to be triggered by our wounds that need to be healed. For five years while predominately single, I’ve had space to grow, I’ve worked on personal development, I’ve healed many wounds and I’ve inspired others to do so.
I contemplated what would come up for me in relationship, when finding my soul partner. Which wounds would be triggered?
What I hadn’t expected was to be triggered in other life areas, outside of relationship. Health… Money… Work… And all at once… Yet being so immensely happy in the area of relationship, has caused the areas where unhappiness lies, to be brought out of the shadows and into the light.
If I was to look at a tool such as the ‘life coaching wheel’ and evaluate life areas… Romance, family/friends, fun/recreation, personal growth, emotional health, environment, learning/education, spirituality… would all be rating sky high.
So why focus so much and stay stuck on the few areas that aren’t.
Because the human brain is designed to focus on the negatives. It is almost an automatic response. We dwell on what is not helpful and we have to train our mind, to see the positives. The areas that come up for us, do so to be healed. To finally make change in the parts of life where unhappiness resides.
Let’s take health for example. Finding myself in a relationship with an amazing, healthy, exercise loving vegan… May have triggered my sugar addict, french pastry loving, less than fit self. All those annoying, niggling health issues, that I thought were just a part of growing older, have come to the surface to be examined….
Perhaps I am seeing, that it is not normal to have headaches every day, constant pain, ongoing ezcema, digestive issues, and more. I am noticing now, that it doesn’t appear to be a part of regular life, for my healthy partner… nor are years of yo-yo dieting.
While I haven’t exactly taken radical action to change my ways, I can now see the need for change. I may be finding myself influenced by the healthier meal choices being cooked for me, the random exercise being snuck in, in the form of scenic walks and the like… and the loving suggestions of ways to ease muscular pain, that I am considering. Even small changes can begin to make a difference.
Rather than just hoping for change in life, we have to make change.
To do this, I started asking myself the coaching questions that I ask of my clients. Where am I unhappy? What needs to change? What can I do about it?
And I began to take action to make those changes happen, and I am still doing so. Evaluating, implementing, and aligning.
Change doesn’t happen just by wishing it for it to. We need to be willing, open and prepared to choose differently.
We can choose to see the problems that weigh us down so much, as just obstacles to over come. We can choose to see what they are teaching us. We can choose to notice the magic of a clear blue sky, or an amazing sunset. We can choose to react to others differently. We can choose to have a good day.
Because nothing changes, if nothing changes.
With Love, Rebecca xo