Sooo I met this guy… how many conversations do we hear that start this way? And they usually go something like this – so I met this guy and he is this and that, and he’s really great… but there’s just this one little thing.
Well… I really did meet a guy, who is amazing, kind, intelligent, affectionate, gorgeous and there isn’t the ‘just this one little thing’ comment, and that in itself is an inspiring beginning. It is early days, but I feel this is different.
This particular union feels special, like it has the potential to be something more, it is evolving and flowing naturally and I am enjoying the process.
In recent years, I’ve met great men and developed feelings for one or the other over time, yet not as quickly and not with the feeling being mutual.
Perhaps when I was younger I would fall in love with someone who also fell in love with me at the same time. But as I grew older, it was different, it was never easy. There was always a moment of indecision, either by myself or the other, a pulling back, a breaking off to sometimes return later. There was hurt and heartache, before the love came, which never allowed for deep trusting love.
This time I set the intention for it to be easy, for it to flow. To lean in and love, discover, care and be amazed by each other. He is everything that I wanted and more… and he really is wonderful.
Spending time with him is easy, enjoyable, fun and relaxed. We didn’t start with the usual evening dinners dates, I’ve encountered before. Our first meetings were walking and talking dates, for hours… so not only was I getting to know someone, I was also feeling energised in the process (with maybe a few added blisters from inappropriate footwear).
I have felt I can be completely and authentically myself and he likes it that way. My fears around being a relationship coach and dating, were irrelevant. There is no need to pretend to be anyone other than me, I’m not afraid to be vulnerable, and share my true self, as anyone that is scared by that, is not the one for me.
Constantly spending time in self enquiry and reflection, has meant that I no longer need to seek validation in another, I know that I am whole and happy within myself.
I feel so clear and rather smitten, because I believe I intentionally created what I was wanting and gave myself permission to receive that. I removed the stories that were holding me back from allowing love, and I gained clarity on the type of relationship I desired and who it was I wanted to have one with.
I knew the partner I wanted to call in, was extraordinary, therefore I was fully prepared to wait and not settle. The qualities and values I was seeking in another added up to a pretty comprehensive list, yet I believe I have found someone that is every one of those and more.
As much as I am enjoying the falling in love feelings, I am very conscious of why I am feeling the way that I feel. So what does it look like to fall in love with eyes wide open – to consciously choose love?
It looks like being fully aware of what I am feeling and why. It is understanding that there is chemistry flooding my body with feel good hormones, it is knowing that the initial phase is built on infatuation while the deeper feelings develop.
It is having the awareness not be blinded by the awesomeness of this other being and remembering that he is human with his own imperfections. It is knowing I’ve done great work to receive him, removed the blocks holding me back from allowing love in, and taking time to feel much gratitude that he is here, sharing his life.
It is knowing that he is a mirror and is showing parts of my consciousness back to me – as the qualities we most admire in another are the ones we already have within our self. This loving reflection, is creating a cycle of healthy respect and affection.
It is the feeling of the love I already have within, amplifying and overflowing in the direction of another. It’s knowing that I am in alignment and in flow and worthy of all the good that comes my way.
It is acknowledging that what I have asked for has been delivered and taking time to explore and enjoy each other while letting what will be, be and unfold exactly as it should.
It is understanding that everything happens in divine timing, any earlier and we would have not been ready for each other, as we each had our own life lessons to learn first.
It is knowing that if we are meant to be together, in this time, we will be. And if we are not, that is ok too, it is just a part of our journey.
It is letting go of the need to control what this is or how it will be. Just to let go and allow it in.
The conscious relationship that I seek involves holding each other accountable to our truest selves, complete equals and allies. It is a relationship that grows and evolves as we do. It is honouring that we are coming together to love and support and bring out the best in one another.
It is healthily interdependent, yet with connection on all levels. It is safety, honesty, intention, transparency, openness and extraordinary trust. It is communicating honestly and truthfully without judgement.
It is choosing to love deliberately and understand how the other wants to be loved, while showing appreciation and gratitude for each other.
A conscious relationship is understanding and knowing that we can live without the other, but choosing to be together. While falling in love is exciting and intense, choosing to stay in love, is a decision – a conscious one, needing effort and devotion.
Know that when you are ready, when you have clarity, when the timing is right, everything really does fall into place and it is e.a.s.y.. it feels natural and it flows, just as I believed it would. Allow yourself to seek, to be love, give love and be open to receiving love. Because extraordinary reciprocated love with another is one of the most amazing gifts.
ps. The intentional work that I do for myself, is also what I teach others. I’d love to share this with you, join my Valentine’s Webinar this week. www.heartcoach.me/live/