Over the last few weeks, I have felt stuck – stuck in an all consuming story, not knowing the answers and not enjoying being in a fearful state.  I was already in the middle of a busy work period, mixed with agitation due to sugar detoxing, when the situation arose… and I admit I’ve struggled to move back into my high vibe state (in the timely manner I wanted).

Instead days were spent feeling foggy, confused and out of alignment.  Out of being in the place of feeling happy and light.  Ruminating, catastrophising, and reactive – a state that I lived in daily for many years during my late thirties and I can’t say I loved the trip down memory lane.

When we become ‘stuck in our story’, we can become a little obsessed, we feel like we have tunnel vision. We can’t think of anything else, we share our story over and over and we ask opinions of everyone we know.  More often then not, we become confused by the conflicting opinions and annoyed with the ones that we didn’t want to hear – the ones that trigger 😉

Not to mention the little critical voice commenting with ‘You’re a coach, you teach these principles, you should be able to work this out on your own’.  Knowing that the more opinions asked, the more power is given away.  Thankfully, the loving voice of reason was also present saying  ‘This is new territory, don’t be so hard on yourself, you are doing the best you can’.

Life is going to throw curve balls. It has up’s and down’s, dark and light and we need to feel the ‘dark’ to appreciate the light. We can not stay where we are and live in the light all of the time, if we aren’t faced with challenges to overcome and hurt to heal, we won’t grow.

“What is our come back rate?” asks spiritual teacher Gabrielle Bernstein. How fast can we come back to ourselves, where we feel in our power and in alignment.  The more practice we have at knowing how to come back, the faster we come back each time.

After days in an unconscious state of numbing out on social media and Netflix – considering I don’t watch TV, binging on 13 episodes of Gilmore Girls in one weekend was probably a little excessive (in my defence, I was intrigued to know what all the fuss was about ). Then came the feelings of guilt around being in an unconscious state when ‘I should’ know better… yet also understanding I needed time to take my mind off the situation, before I processed.

Growth is messy and painful.  Spiritual growth is not all yoga and meditation retreats, attending workshops, reading self help books and drinking green smoothies.  It involves recognising where we are in the moment and working through the confusion.  Knowing when we are in avoidance and what we can do to change it. Growth is healing, exploring feelings, reflecting on why we feel the way we do.  It is understanding when we are in a controlling energy, and working out where we can release, surrender and trust.

We can’t bypass situations and jump straight to enlightenment, that is not how growth works. It is sometimes about being in the thick of it and not losing our self belief in the process. Just because one area of our life is not flowing as we would like, doesn’t mean our whole life circumstance is unfavourable. Recognising that experiences allow us to develop greater self awareness, help us to be less reactive to similar predicaments in the future.

When others are involved, it is also recognising that this is their journey too, their life path… and holding on tightly may not be the answer.  Self fulfilling prophecies occur when we are in that worry energy. If we think and believe a situation will occur, we’ve put that energy out there and more often then not, the very thing we don’t want, will come to be – it is basic law of attraction.  Energy even though unseen, is felt by others, we can all feel another’s mood, the same way our moods and energy can affect theirs.

Sometimes the universe, higher power, our inner guidance (whatever you like to call it) is watching and senses that this person is just cruising along, let’s shake things up a little and help them up level.  Or perhaps we’ve been procrastinating or unmotivated and needed a little push to get things moving again.

I am aware that I am right where I need to be, that exploring my lessons here, is precisely what is required. Understanding that the same principles I apply to healing my heart and mind can be applied to all situations. The energy is lifting and shifting by doing the inner work, and gradually moving back into a lighter space.

Why am I sharing…  When I write, when I share, more comes to light. My experiences are often mirrors of what others are going through and by sharing, I help you too. I don’t believe in being a voice that preaches to do as I say and not as I do, this inner work is never ending.  We don’t reach a place in life where everything is magical all the time, being vulnerable with others increases our connection.

The inner work helps me, and I believe it can help you too.  Where in your life can you release, let go, step back, reflect and witness your part in the story?…

With love,
Rebecca xo